truth

Mother let her prodigal son come back to her.

oceanic

Now and again, the tide turns.

Float me down the river and the windmill stops.

I headed for the turret but i landed near the copse.

Tournament of roses seems to say everything's fine.

Rat me out for pennies when the going rate's a dime.

Grabbing hands over fist with the pound.

Something tells me that the world is spinning round.

Fools on the hill tumble down and take a break.

I loaded up on sugar and I stole a slice of cake.

Toothache Schmoothache

I could always skip a meal.

Something deep inside tells me don't forget to feel.

Fat Guy tips the scales;

His boss Jack Bronstein sips Burfresca.

The government and business make an incomplete trifecta.

One's man hero is another woman's rake.

Nelson Algren says Chicago is a city on the make.

gears grinders

what the

Encased in a block of ice, Emperor Palpatine Sidious sighed, "What is WRONG with me? I should have taken that position at George Costanza's Jerk Store!"

trifecta at dawn--2012

elmer, Glaviano setter of note, paused.


"What's that, pooch? Cat got yer tongue?" chuckled Fat Guy.

Jack Bronstein made a furtive 'don't do that' hand signal.

Elmer barked, "Cute as a hangnail, Fatty. Bad manners to boot. Here's the thing. You can sing and dance about trifectas until you win, place, show, lose, and draw. There's a catch."

Overweight ombudsman that he was, Fatty arrogantly lit up a stink-a-roo cigar, and puffed.

"Here's the catch," continued Elmer. It was a great idea you had a decade ago."

Fatty nodded smugly.

Elmer warned, "Smug me not, lackbeard."

Fatty nervously tugged at his chin.

Jack lit up his own stink-a-roo, put it in his mouth, and made the 'fingers-pointed-at-eyes-so-as-to-indicate-I'm-watching-you' hand gesture.

"Brilliant casting, Fatty!" allowed Elmer. 'The Gooder, The Badder, and the Uglier.' With Giuseppe Verdi as the Vatican as Tuco Ramirez as Eli Wallach."

Jack made a face.

Elmer went on, "Clint Eastwood as the Beatles as the Jesuits as Blondie as The Man With No Name."

Slurping on a Burfresca drink, Fatty bellowed, "FIVE names, more like!"

Gravely, Jack blew out the last Hanukkah candle, frowned, and declared, "It's no mistake that they cast you as the M. Emmett Walsh 'Bryant' character in the prequel to 'Blade Runner,' Fatty."

"I thought that was a video game!" protested Fatty.

A Morricone melody called "The Strong" wafted from parts unknown into the office.

Fatty nodded smugly.

"Last but not least!" barked Elmer. "Rounding out the Armagideon Trifecta. Lee van Cleef as Angel Eyes Setenza as James Bond as 007 as British Intelligence."

Elmer let out a yawn, and saw to some biscuit offering.

Fatty squinted, "Is there a moral to this story, Elmer?"

"I'll take this one," said Jack. "What Elmer's trying to say, is, like it or not, 007 has an unfair advantage over Verdi and the Beatles."

"How so, Jack?"

Jack shrugged, "The James Bond Theme is THE most well-known pop song in the world. Whether or not Verdi's 'Nabucco,' or John Lennon's 'Imagine,' is BETTER than James Bond Theme, James Bond Theme has reached more people!"

Fatty scoffed, "What utter and condensed bs. Popularity contests are bunk. The 1960 United States Presidential election may have been the last popularity contest worth winning. And Dick Nixon ended up winning anyway. Bunk."

"WOOF," Elmer warned, "Stay away from that Nixon third rail. Be smart. WOOF."

Jack nodded, "He's right, Fatty. Nixon is poison. Artistically--and politically. Step off."

Fatty said, "I'm confused. You're saying, if I turn my Armagideon Trifecta into a Broadway stage situation,, 007 has to win?"

Jack nodded smugly.

"Majority rules, Fatty," sighed Elmer. "You should try something a little less toxic. What about the Wall of Sound?"

Fatty gaped, "You mean, the caucasian guy, with the Afro, who killed his girlfriend in 2003? As portrayed on TV by Al Pacino?"

Jack shook his head.

"That's exactly what I mean," smiled Elmer. "Before Leonard Cohen convicted Phil Spector of being insane, in a magazine, Spector produced some quality."

Jack laughed, "Quality's an adjective, Elmer."

Elmer barked, "YOU"RE an adjective, Jack!"

Jack shrugged, "Fair enough."

"Now get to work, Fatty," said a helpful Elmer. "I want an essay comparing--and contrasting--the Ronettes' Greatest Hits CD...and the Crystals' Greatest Hits CD. Don't get cute. Don't pull somme 'also starring the Shirelles' 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' as The Gordian Knot' stunt. I will chomp you up and bury you in the back YARD. Feel me?"

Fatty nodded curtly.

Jack lit up a hash monkey, split the difference, and beamed, "Eat 'em and smile, Fatty. Eat 'em and smile."

"I intend to," Fatty said ominously.

And the trifecta lived to see another sunrise.