TROUBLE SPOTS IN MCHENRY COUNTY

HI,
have you ever driven through the city known as the 'Title Town of Illinois' Mchenry County, towards the North?
Bull Valley road spans from Bull Vaelly to the East.
So if you try to turn right either ONTO BULL VALLEY from NORTHBOUND CRYSTAL LAKE BLACKTOP, or right FROM Bull Valley onto SOUTHBOUND ILLINOIS ROUTE 31?
An oncoming LEFT-turner WILL CUT YOU OFF, whether or not he or she is in the right.
THE LIFE YOU SAVE MAY BE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to do list

A TO DO LIST FOR GLAVIANO SETTERS

by

Elmer Bohondis Coniglario

1. Shake down Pete Wentz for money.
2. Bust Pete Wentz's chops.
3. Grab some chops over at Chickensaw Pete's.
4. Steal some lottery tickets from Pete Wentz.
5. Chow down.

notes from around here

FARINA UPPED THE ANTE ON TORELLO.
HE WATERBOARDED SOME FELLOW ON A SHOW.
CIVIL LIBERTIES ESSENTIAL.
AMERICA HAS POTENTIAL.
BUT WHEN WAR CREATES MORE TERROR, JUST SAY NO.

PIGSKINNERY

If you like professional football, you may be one of the people who extremely enjoy professional football.
The Saints managed to hand the Vikings their asses on Thursday night, and they're just getting started.
Here's your playoff picture for 2011, if that's your boat.
It will be the Chargers versus the Patriots for the AFC title.
Over in the NFC, province of Eagles, Falcons, and Rams, it should be decided between the Packers and the Vikings as to who goes to the Super Bowl to face the Chargers or the Patriots.
I'm just saying.
Only in America, on the night before September 11, can somebody agonize over the National Football League and their post-season diatribes.
only in America...

CHECK OUT THE GIGANTIC STORIES!!!

I don't know why but my story is too big, too huge, for the venue.
Big is back, I was told.

WORLD CUP 2010 or I DON'T HATE YOU BOBBY, I JUST HATE SOCCER

SPAIN DUKES OUT THE NETHERLANDS

Remember Beethoven's "Egmont" overture and incidental music from the 1800s?
Remember Spanish King Phillip from the 1500s?
Soccer repeats.
I turned on the televised World Cup soccer championshiip, turned down voume, and j akced up the beethoven.
Within seconds of Spain's winning goal, the "Egmont" overture came to an end.
It was like Synchronicity III or one of those deja vu programs.
Escorial awaits...

CUSTOMER SERVICE IS A DYING FRANCHISE

PIZZA MAN

On Tuesday of the week, I ordered a pepperoni pizza and a bottle of Cokie.
Guess what happened?
First the pizza delivery driver calls up and asks for directions.
Then he comes to the wrong door.
Next, mr. pizza delivery driver suddenly forgets how to use a staircase.
Finally, he thumbs his nose at me.
At one point he even started to walk away without giving me my pizza!